 |
| Click here to go to the Mercury story HCC Facebook story |
HO! HO! HO! CHRISTMAS SPIRIT COMES TO HOBART CITY COUNCIL
"In a rare act of kindness Hobart City Council Aldermen have come together in support of what is considered the biggest act of kindness by any council in Australia.
On Monday all staff, the cities homeless and The Taste of Tasmania vendors (the ones who stuck around) will receive a $300 Myer Gift Card as a Christmas Gift from council.
According to Lord Mayor Sue Hickey “We just want to say thank you to those who supported us throughout the year and this seemed the perfect way to do it. It has been a tough year dealing with all our screw ups and so forth so this is a kind of compensation”.
When asked why The Taste of Tasmania vendors had been included Sue’s response was “They need a good quality shirt for us to rip off their backs at the end of the event and frankly we feel a bit sorry for them”.
Whilst Aldermen were unanimous in their support for the vouchers a motion to also give $100 Myer vouchers to anyone who was unfortunate enough to see the Salamanca Square Christmas Tree as compensation was rejected.
This huge act of kindness was proposed by General Manager Nick Heath who put forward the business case that it makes good fiscal sense to spend $300,000 at Myer to assist them to exceed the self determined target of $50 million and therefore council avoiding having to pay them $875,000.
“We have run the numbers and by spending this much at Myer we will be actually saving the ratepayers $575,000 so it is a win, win situation. We will have to do it for the next four years though. We have extra gift cards for Aldermen to give out as well to buy themselves a few votes. Ronnie has been dishing them out like friend requests” said Heath.
“We weren’t worried at first because we thought it was s good deal but when we realised that the average Myer store turns over $46 million and we have a target of $50 million we kind of figured we were screwed. I might have buggered this one up a bit… I think I might have hit an extra zero on the old Casio or something. But anyways it’s only Monopoly money” Heath continued. “We may have to increase rates by $200 and in return give the households a $150 voucher as well (the -$50 is the administration cost) as it is only fair that they chip in but we will see how this goes first".
A motion was also passed that all Aldermen and senior council staff will only wear Myer clothing and that some staff would be offered vouchers as part of their pay. Some service providers will be expected to accept part payment in Myer vouchers also.
In addition all buskers in the city and at The Taste will be made to use the new “cashless system” and will be compensated in Myer vouchers.
“The buskers will only spend the cash on drugs anyway” said Hickey “so we are doing them a favour. Look at them they could do with a good wash and a change of clothes”.
Ron Christie who looked dashing in a VAN HEUSEN suit and Florsheim shoes said “Look we really got this right I tell you. It is a beautiful store, have you been to see it? It’s wonderful. We did the right thing, the right thing I tell you. I think we will crack the $50 million mark at this rate, we just need to give out enough of these vouchers, hey you journalists don’t earn very much do you, have a voucher and buy yourself something nice. Spend it in this financial year though OK cobber”.
As a thank you for the support Myer will print personalised gift cards with the new Hobart City Council logo on them.
-----------------------------------
This is satire and Hobart City Council will not, to the best of my knowledge, be giving out Myer vouchers. They might change their minds after reading this though." ... LIFTED FROM FACEbook
No comments:
Post a Comment